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001. ASSESSAt this point, most veterans know the obvious signs someone may be “suicidal.” But just to review, here are a few:[+] Dramatic changes in behavior, especially risky behavior[+] Signs of despair, or saying things like “I have no reason to live” or “have no way out”[+] Withdrawing or isolating from others[+] Intense rage, anxiety or agitation[+] Increased alcohol or drug use.Many times, an event – a breakup, a lost job, a crappy day at work – can trigger a crisis.Those are more obvious signs, but sometimes it’s not so clear. Does your friend seem down? Is your buddy acting weird? Ultimately you have to use your gut. You know them best.002. APPROACH, BUT KEEP IT LOW KEYYou’ve assessed the situation and you have reason to believe a friend is in danger. You want to talk to him/her about it.-- Try not to open with, ‘you seem really fucked up.’ take a breath and think about what you’re going to say. [John, Army Veteran]How to ask about suicidal thoughts:There are a lot of people who advocate for the full frontal approach when discussing suicide: ‘Are you feeling suicidal?” or “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”The blunt approach is definitely one way to go. If that’s your style, go for it.But there is also recent data that shows that there is more than one way to ask, and that sometimes using a more indirect approach can work. The Crisis Text Line analyzed 75 million text interactions with people who were reaching out for help, and found that a more indirect approach, layered with an empathetic statement, was more often successful.THE WAR ON SUICIDEJOIN THE FIGHT AT OVERWATCHPROJECT.ORG CONVERSATION GUIDE — 001Got someone you’re worried about? Do they have firearms? Then get to it. It might feel strange/awkward/weird/uncomfortable to talk about firearms and suicide. But it’s worth it if it saves a life. Here’s how to go there.-- I WAS AFRAID A BUDDY WOULD HIT ROCK BOTTOM WITH A FIREARM RIGHT THERE. SO I JUST FUCKING ASKED HIM – CAN WE MAKE A PLAN FOR YOUR FIREARMS? DON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH, YOU DON’T HAVE TO USE CODE WORDS OR WHISPER IT – YOU HAVE FIREARMS, WHAT’S YOUR PLAN? FROM A VET-TO-VET THAT’S SO MUCH EASIER TO SAY.GABE, ARMY VETERAN

001. ASSESSAt this point, most veterans know the obvious signs someone may be “suicidal.” But just to review, here are a few:[+] Dramatic changes in behavior, especially risky behavior[+] Signs of despair, or saying things like “I have no reason to live” or “have no way out”[+] Withdrawing or isolating from others[+] Intense rage, anxiety or agitation[+] Increased alcohol or drug use.Many times, an event – a breakup, a lost job, a crappy day at work – can trigger a crisis.Those are more obvious signs, but sometimes it’s not so clear. Does your friend seem down? Is your buddy acting weird? Ultimately you have to use your gut. You know them best.002. APPROACH, BUT KEEP IT LOW KEYYou’ve assessed the situation and you have reason to believe a friend is in danger. You want to talk to him/her about it.-- Try not to open with, ‘you seem really fucked up.’ take a breath and think about what you’re going to say. [John, Army Veteran]How to ask about suicidal thoughts:There are a lot of people who advocate for the full frontal approach when discussing suicide: ‘Are you feeling suicidal?” or “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”The blunt approach is definitely one way to go. If that’s your style, go for it.But there is also recent data that shows that there is more than one way to ask, and that sometimes using a more indirect approach can work. The Crisis Text Line analyzed 75 million text interactions with people who were reaching out for help, and found that a more indirect approach, layered with an empathetic statement, was more often successful.THE WAR ON SUICIDEJOIN THE FIGHT AT OVERWATCHPROJECT.ORGCONVERSATION GUIDE — 002An example:A counselor speaking to a texter dealing with a breakup, for example, would say this:-- Sometimes when people go through a breakup, they may have thoughts of ending their life. I want to check in, have you had any of these thoughts?“Another example might look like this:-- With all of your sadness about the breakup, I just want to check in about your safety. Have you had any thoughts about death or dying?”Vet translation:-- Man, we all know that when the shit hits the fan, a lot of people we know think about ending it all. Are you having any thoughts about death?If they say yes, you need to find out more. But first, a few key things to remember:[+] Don’t judge[+] Don’t express shock[+] No guilt or shameThen:[+] Listen – what’s going on?[+] Find out if they have a specific plan to kill themselves[+] If the danger seems immediate, don’t leave your friend alone and seek professional help immediately.Visit our resource page for info on where to go for help.But even if a buddy says, “No, I’m not suicidal, I’m not thinking about death,” that doesn’t mean they are safe.Because suicide attempts are often so impulsive, someone can be at risk of suicide even if they aren’t “suicidal” right when you ask them. It goes back to that “fuck it” moment, where half of suicide attempters thought about it for 10 minutes or less. Sometimes the clear crisis moment happens when no one is around, and it’s too late for you to intervene. Best-case scenario, you make a plan together before it gets to that point.So if you’re still worried, it’s still better to go there and have a conversation about firearms.003. TALKING ABOUT FIREARMS:JUST FUCKING ASKSo, your buddy’s in a bad place. Maybe they have said they’re thinking about suicide; maybe they say they aren’t but you’re still worried. It’s time to just JUST FUCKING ASK. Firearms are tools. There are moments in everyone’s life when it’s not a good idea to operate a dangerous tool. Think, “Friends Don’t let Friends Drive Drunk,” only it’s firearms instead of keys.How do you J.F.A.? Here are a few suggestions for what to say:-- You might be pissed at me for asking this question but it will be worth it to me if it saves your life. Can I help you store your guns differently for a while?

001. ASSESSAt this point, most veterans know the obvious signs someone may be “suicidal.” But just to review, here are a few:[+] Dramatic changes in behavior, especially risky behavior[+] Signs of despair, or saying things like “I have no reason to live” or “have no way out”[+] Withdrawing or isolating from others[+] Intense rage, anxiety or agitation[+] Increased alcohol or drug use.Many times, an event – a breakup, a lost job, a crappy day at work – can trigger a crisis.Those are more obvious signs, but sometimes it’s not so clear. Does your friend seem down? Is your buddy acting weird? Ultimately you have to use your gut. You know them best.002. APPROACH, BUT KEEP IT LOW KEYYou’ve assessed the situation and you have reason to believe a friend is in danger. You want to talk to him/her about it.-- Try not to open with, ‘you seem really fucked up.’ take a breath and think about what you’re going to say. [John, Army Veteran]How to ask about suicidal thoughts:There are a lot of people who advocate for the full frontal approach when discussing suicide: ‘Are you feeling suicidal?” or “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”The blunt approach is definitely one way to go. If that’s your style, go for it.But there is also recent data that shows that there is more than one way to ask, and that sometimes using a more indirect approach can work. The Crisis Text Line analyzed 75 million text interactions with people who were reaching out for help, and found that a more indirect approach, layered with an empathetic statement, was more often successful.THE WAR ON SUICIDEJOIN THE FIGHT AT OVERWATCHPROJECT.ORGCONVERSATION GUIDE — 003-- You seem like you’re going through a rough time. I would feel better if I held onto your firearms for a while. Even if you’re not worried about yourself, I am.-- I’m worried about you. Since you’re in a shitty place, can we make a plan for your firearms?-- We all know what can happen when someone hits rock bottom and there’s a gun right there. I don’t want that to happen to you. Can I help you secure your firearms?It can be an uncomfortable conversation - but the discomfort is worth it if it saves your friend’s life. The most important thing to remember is to act on your concerns and accept that there is not a perfect way to do this. Trust your instincts and in the fact that your intentions are good and your friend will know that.004. RENDER SAFE: MAKING A PLANYou’ve broached the topic of firearm protective storage measures with your friend. He’s agreed. Great. Now it’s time to execute a plan. The idea is to create decision points between impulse and action. There are a number of different options, depending on what your friend is comfortable with. Something to remember: this is an act of free will. No one is going to force anyone to do anything. This is between you and your buddy. It’s a choice to take steps to avoid a permanent solution to a temporary problem.Protective storage measures: the optionsYou J.F.A’d and it went well. Now what?Let’s talk about options. There are different ways to secure those firearms until the dark moment passes.OUTSIDE THE HOMEThe safest option is to get the firearms out of the house temporarily. Can you hold onto them for a while? Do you know someone else who can?If you are worried about holding onto them, there are businesses that can store them for you, including gun ranges and bonded storage facilities. Search for “firearms storage facilities” or ask your local gun retailer. Certain businesses even offer pick up services. You don’t have to say why your friend wants to store a firearm out of the home, because customers use these facilities for different reasons (other possible reasons can include going on an extended trip and fearing a break-in).A few examples of firearm storage facilities:https://www.gunsitters.comhttps://coloradofirearmsafetycoalition.org-- IT’S AN AWKWARD CONVERSATION – EVERY TIME YOU HAVE IT. THE FIRST TIME I HAD IT WITH MY BUDDY, I PHRASED IT, ‘YOU MIGHT BE PISSED OFF AT ME – BUT I’D RATHER YOU BE ANGRY AND ALIVE THAN HAPPY WITH ME AND DEAD.JAY, ARMY VETERAN[HOW DO YOU J.F.A.? — CONT.]

001. ASSESSAt this point, most veterans know the obvious signs someone may be “suicidal.” But just to review, here are a few:[+] Dramatic changes in behavior, especially risky behavior[+] Signs of despair, or saying things like “I have no reason to live” or “have no way out”[+] Withdrawing or isolating from others[+] Intense rage, anxiety or agitation[+] Increased alcohol or drug use.Many times, an event – a breakup, a lost job, a crappy day at work – can trigger a crisis.Those are more obvious signs, but sometimes it’s not so clear. Does your friend seem down? Is your buddy acting weird? Ultimately you have to use your gut. You know them best.002. APPROACH, BUT KEEP IT LOW KEYYou’ve assessed the situation and you have reason to believe a friend is in danger. You want to talk to him/her about it.-- Try not to open with, ‘you seem really fucked up.’ take a breath and think about what you’re going to say. [John, Army Veteran]How to ask about suicidal thoughts:There are a lot of people who advocate for the full frontal approach when discussing suicide: ‘Are you feeling suicidal?” or “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”The blunt approach is definitely one way to go. If that’s your style, go for it.But there is also recent data that shows that there is more than one way to ask, and that sometimes using a more indirect approach can work. The Crisis Text Line analyzed 75 million text interactions with people who were reaching out for help, and found that a more indirect approach, layered with an empathetic statement, was more often successful.THE WAR ON SUICIDEJOIN THE FIGHT AT OVERWATCHPROJECT.ORGCONVERSATION GUIDE — 004IN THE HOMEYou asked if you could hold onto those guns, and got a “hell no.” If getting them out of the house isn’t an option, there are other ways to help your friend create that critical time & distance between impulse and action.Create a physical barrier to access:[+] Remove the firing pin or the slide.[+] Put a cable lock on the firearms and you take the key (or someone else in the home controls the key)[+] Change the safe combo[+] Remove all ammo from the homeCreate a delay to access:[+] Help your buddy disassemble the firearms; this will give your friend time to think before picking them up and using them[+] Put a cable lock on the firearms: even if your friend has the key, he/she will have to go through the extra step of unlocking the cable lock to get to it. That delay can provide a critical moment to have second thoughts.If these options don’t work...Let’s say your buddy absolutely refuses to put any physical distance or delay between him/her self and those guns. Help your friend put up “emotional barriers” to a possible suicide attempt.Who or what motivates your friend to want to stay alive? Use that to help slow your buddy down and give a moment or two to think before taking a step they can’t take back. Remember, no one can un-fire a gun.IDEAS[+] Put a picture of a family member or friend in the gun safe[+] Wrap a photo of a family member or friend around the firearm005. GET BACKUPIf you can help it, don’t do this alone. After you deal with the protective storage measures, get backup.[+] Can family and/or friends help out?[+] Can you talk to a family member together?[+] Can you convince your buddy to seek professional help? If they say yes, help with the follow through.[+] Can you help him/her with an appointment? Can you drive them to it?See our resource page on overwatchproject.org for places to seek help.006. THE BIG QUESTION: WHEN TO LIFT PROTECTIVE STORAGE MEASURESBest case scenario, you J.F.A.’d, your buddy agreed, secured those firearms and got some help. How do you know when it’s OK to give back those guns or to relax the protective measures?The hard truth is that there is no way to be certain. This is an imperfect process, and ultimately there are parts of it that you can’t control. Ask questions. Use your gut. But you have to remember that you can’t “fix” the problem. That’s why it’s important to try to get backup on this mission – family and friends, as well as professional mental health care. No matter what happens, you did everything you could to save your buddy’s life.